Comedy trolley jack

weve got 1 identical,the waste oil nozzle is screwed onto the pipe.when its under pressure and has unscrewed itself to the extent it falls off things get real messy real quick.soaked in the sh1te from head to foot,dripping with it.had to go home and wash,stripped down to my kegs on the doorstep much to the amusement of the locals.one of the joeys hooked it up with the top valve open,luckily enuff it was only the managers car next to it so no damage done......

pretty much exactly it on both occasions,the secretery said ooh rob youre all covered in oil,my response was that where it was running down my nutsack and backcrack was my primary concern,my joy department was stained black for a week or more

difficult to tell,my hand kept sliding off the end!dirk diggler I aint.joking aside it was minging,i was kipping on the sofa for a week on top of an old sleeping bag,darent lie on white sheets or furniture,you know what its like when youre stained by jet black oil,scrub all you like it never goes completely,has to more or less grow out,i looked like a sawn off black and white minstrel,it missed one of my eyes,youve seen the panda logo on wwf?that was me.thats wildlife not wrestling before anyone gets clever.....

Sorry, I've been laughing so hard at you guys I think something may have broke..... I'm really not a bad person.

have also done that one amongst others,the first thing you notice is the smell of burning hair.dunno about you but all of the hairiest parts of my body past and present tend to be amongst my favourite and most sensitive bits.looked down,saw my joy dept going up in smoke,grabbed my coffee off the ramp and fired it in.hot coffee.hot hot hot coffee.dayglo nuts.afterwards it looked like some sorta amazon rainforest slash and burn exercise,still got a bald patch but hey it could have been worse.back when I was 17 ish torched an exhaust in half after taking over from another bod.exhaust had already snapped further up but I didn't know.on the plus side when a red hot exhaust pipe goes thru your face from side to side its hot enuff to cauterize the wounds so you wont bleed too heavy.heres one that you welders will recognise,when the hot piece of slag has gone straight into one of your ears.i call it frying tonite due to the frying crackling noise as it melts the earwax to boiling point,that's your only warning that you have about half a second before agony strikes,yup,fired coffee into them as well.

this was all years back and I was such a pretty fooker that the overall cosmetic impact was fairly minimal.the garage concerned being on the opposite side of the road from the local a+e was also rather useful,the boss telling me to stroll over there and get fixed still lives in memory.grateful thanks to the l+d hospital also for turning a patchwork quilt back into a face,they did a pretty good job,looks more like acne all these years later.shall we try ramps failing for the next disaster movie?got a few of those as well....

can come in handy for educating joeys,i want you to do this,this and this.i want you to do it like this and this particular scar is why I want it done MY way not yours.are we clear on this dickwit?you get a worried look followed by a nervous nod followed by a cloud of dust as he fooks it up by ignoring me and (having been made fully aware of the likely consequences of his actions) makes the rational and informed choice to get the fook out of dodge till the dust settles.my lessons STICK!

Had a similar thing with an apprentice who thought my instruction to use both hands to hold the angle grinder with a zip wheel fitted a bit OTT and not necessary.
Didn't have much to say when it bounced and hit him in the face.

There's a rat in my garage, what am I gonna do?